And why not be smart AND happy?

I came across one of Hemingway's quotes a couple of days ago, which says: Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. It got me thinking, it's not as if there's anything new about the statement, I have already been through the stage where I would go about life and pretend to bear the cross of unhappiness as a result of intelligence. This time it made me wonder whether there's a way out of misery for those whose mind never stops working.

First of all, the intelligence is so closely interconnected to unhappiness because the world's a battlefield where the rules of the fight are not dictated by reason, but by instincts. And life is all about fight. Fight for a better place, for a warmer bed, for a softer chair. The principles of fight are quite distinct among people, based on who they are and how they think or how much they think. It's quite a blissful experience when one doesn't spend much time thinking about things, one which I have always longed to have. Therefore, intelligence is all about considering the complexity of things, taking out the mediocre and futile, focusing only on meaningfulness and relevance. But this is such a strain of mind! Smartness means high levels of expectations, hence low chances of satisfaction.

One thing brightness should be in search of is creating happiness out of any situation of life. One must infiltrate satisfaction in everything one does and adjust things and activities to one's tastes and desires so that life becomes more bearable and even enjoyable. But then again, this is a very simplistic way of putting it and it takes a very long way to get to the simple part of everything. But one should try and excel at everything one puts one's mind to. As Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said, In character, in manner, in style, in all things, the supreme excellence is simplicity.

Reading fiction improves our social skills

I remember I had always been good at deciding whether somebody was a good or a bad person from a first encounter. And I mainly exercised this ability in high school and at the university, when I used to give verdicts about teachers to my colleagues: this one's good, oh! that one is a bitch. And it always turned out I had been right. And where was it that I learned so much about people? It was definitely not from a very intense social interaction I was part of on a regular basis. No, my social skills came from a different source, one which used to be considered giving opposite results: reading fiction.

Novelist and psychologist Keith Oatley argues that fiction can help us empathize with other people and connect with something larger than ourselves. It can facilitate our understanding of some other worlds than ours and it makes us better when interacting with others. Now I have got my answer. I have been really puzzled by how I was able to understand others, by the way I managed to get through to people by just asking the questions they were eager to answer and by trying to find out things they liked to talk about and then introduce them into our conversations. I am very fond of my findings in terms of people and their worlds and I rarely like to talk about my own, I'd rather keep it to myself, unless somebody is really interested in hearing about it.

It turns out my fiction reading throughout the years does not have the effect of alienating me from reality, on the contrary, it gets me closer to it, it helps me comprehend things and people through a different way; not by direct contact, but by reading of worlds where people live their lives and aren't aware of somebody studying them; of all the worlds which one cannot possibly manage to come in contact with in real life, but nonetheless available to us and accessible at any time of life.

There's no bigger joy in life than reading a very good book, which depicts a world of people that go through the things you thought could happen only to you. There's no other pleasure than finding out that there have been and will be people just like you, that a direct contact with someone you like is not the only choice given by life.

Simplicity in the way of being

If I were to cast a long and careful glance in the past, I would definitely be able to see an almost painful longing for a different way of being. I knew what it was back then, but I knew it only at the emotional level, not exactly aware of the whereabouts of all those feelings of craving for something else, for what I did not have, a rebellion against a wave of thoughts and actions which, though being mine, I did not accept as being truly representative of who I was or what I wanted.

I have always been fond of simplicity; simplicity in food, in clothes, in the relationship with others, in all approaches of life. And when I saw simplicity, I would fall in love with it. Because being simple in your very nature means being satisfied with life, even being grateful that you are alive. I cannot think of a better existential perspective. The struggle for a more positive view on life has marked my whole existence so far. I've been looking for reasons as long as I can remember, and I've got quite good memory. Am I the contrast of simplicity? No, not exactly. Would simplicity save me? It definitely would.

A conformity to the given state of things offers more satisfaction in what one does and goes through. The more pretenses we have in life, the more we want to achieve, the less happy we are with everything. There is no end to our aspirations, the moment we reach a certain goal, another takes its place and so it goes forever. I have met people who were so far behind others in terms of success and personal achievements, but who would turn out to be models of optimism, of wonderful optimism. My deep admiration goes to them. A movie I have recently seen reminded me again of how fortunate one can be if one finds simplicity and makes it a friend for life.

We are what and who we like

Life, it seems to me, has fundamentally one significant route provided for us, that of love. Love for people, love for things, love for an identified piece of the large spectrum of choices we are provided with in the world. It shapes our lives, it never vanishes from inside us and accompanies us till the end of the road.

We are whom we love. Just like what we wear every day expresses loyally our approach to the things surrounding us, our preferences in terms of people is the expression of our emotional and spiritual development. Our worthiness in the world is measured by the appreciation of others, and the quality has priority over quantity. We tend to establish certain patterns of behavior and adopt certain attitudes by affiliation to who might judge us.

We all have an audience in life, even though for the majority of us it's just an imaginary one. It helps us get perspective and I surely believe it helps us improve ourselves. Reputation is a value of a powerful significance for our peace of mind and it totally depends on how we live our lives in the eyes of the others. And by others I mean that small group of people you have picked out to represent the way of life to your liking. Only certain people matter for each of us and one should persevere in finding the people one believes matter for oneself. They will be the ones to help us become better persons by a daily scrutiny of the values they cherish and we must have.

Motivatia - cheia invingatorilor

Motivatia e cheia oricarui succes. Unii au aceasta cheie tot timpul in buzunar si isi realizeaza planuri, obiective, visuri cu o lejeritate atit de fireasca incit te face sa te intrebi daca exista o geana responsabila de motivatie si care tie iti lipseste.

Eu de fiecare data in perioadele mele de alergat in fiecare dimineata (ca asa se intimpla, pe perioade) tot timpul reusesc sa ma motivez doar intr-un singur fel: ca asta trebuie sa devina un mod de viata, ca asta e ce trebuie sa fac pina la sfarsitul vietii, ca metabolismu meu nu-mi permite sa lenevesc pe canapea si sa maninc ce-mi pofteste inima. Si de ce doar astfel devin eficiente incurajarile mele de a ma trezi cu noaptea-n cap cind toata lumea doarme, sa-mi pun adidasii si sa infrunt cu mare curaj frigul de afara? Pentru ca noi avem tendinta sa ezitam atunci cind realizam existenta unei alternative, a unei evadari, a unei intorsaturi intr-o alta directie, cu speranta ca poate ce ne asteapta acolo se va dovedi o optiune mai buna.

Iar idea asta ma duce la un gind mai vechi de-al meu: ca multitudinea optiunilor in viata ne face mai nefericiti. Cit de fericiti par stramosii nostri in comparatie cu noi. Ei nu traiau in fiecare zi cu o constiinta a unor posibilitati care iti pun la indoiala in mod constant alegerile facute: si daca trebuia sa aleg altceva? Ca doar sigur exista o cale mai neteda spre ce imi doresc. Dar parca mai stim ce dorim in acest amalgam de optiuni, perspective, informatii, oferte, etc etc?

Si intorcindu-ma la motivatie. Asta e tot ce ne trebuie pentru a ajunge la idealul propus, odata ce trecem partea cu motivatia, e ca si parcurgerea a mai mult de jumatate de cale. Dar nu e asa de simplu, pentru ca a fi motivat inseamna a fi inarmat in fiecare zi cu argumente: si de ce e nevoie de atita efort, si de ce trebuie sa muncesc din greu acolo unde altii primesc gratis, si de ce pina la urma am nevoie de lucrul asta? Nu e mai simplu sa renunt si basta?

Motivatia e unealta invingatorilor. Este oare si a celor fericiti?